untangling the aho

 

 

Our stories, too, travelled across oceans, we brought them with us. Island to island, and the whenua still holds their echoes                       

 

echoes

 

Harakeke

 

I duck under the motorway, tentative. Slip down along the cracked footpaths by the estuary edge. The rāhui is lessening now, lockdown levels decreasing, but it’s still quiet, and the grey May sky is cool and uncertain. I have my knife, and shells gathered from a west coast beach, and I remember the words of the karakia but I’m uncertain too. This is the first time I have done this without my kaiako, and I feel alone. Still, I breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in and speak the karakia

to Papatūānuku, to Ranginui, to all tūpuna,

give thanks for their gifts

ngā taonga whakarere iho

 

I gather the harakeke with a black stripe, hoping for good muka. I make the slice, pull smooth the silky white threads – to miro, to make lace, to make kākahu. To re-weave, if I can.

 

 

I’ve been untangling the threads of my whakapapa. Trying to finding resonances across lines

that seem in constant conflict, irreconcilable. Trying to hold space for multiplicities, to unlearn

thinking in absolutes. I’ve been looking to plants to teach me, too, just as I’ve been looking to my

own roots – tending to them, in the words of a dear friend, feels like a way towards something we

need to find again. A reciprocity, a lost tenderness.

*

 

KanukĀ  & ManukĀ

kānuka stands tall       
with leaves that don’t scratch                                     mānuka has thin skin                                         

or bite or sting (a soft touch)                                       that flakes and peels

tiny flowers                                                               (and a barbed tongue)
and scented leather bark                       it holds its branches small and close

                                                                                    and its seeds closer

 

 


see how they are as alike and not-alike as cousins?
a consistent case of mistaken identity


 

                                   but they are both healers
                                            honeystarters
                                              firemakers
                                             colourfixers
                                            sheltergivers

                                           feversoothers
                                           sleepbringers

 

 

 

they prepare dry earth for new growth
they hold the young until they are strong enough to stand alone
they lead the way so that when we later follow
the paths made by their roots
there is already something to come home to

 

 

 

Mānuka and kānuka have learned how to grow after disaster, how to clean the soil and protect

the water. Kānuka can withstand the wet, the cold, the dry: drought and frost alike. Mānuka

releases seeds after fire, a process called serotiny, though this manifests less strongly in the

plants on Te Ika A Maui and Te Waiponamu than in their cousins across the water.
We are less used to fire here, maybe. We trust in the rain, until it stops falling.
We talk about apocalypse, and post-apocalypse, as if these are ideas that haven’t happened yet,

abstract concepts that haven’t already happened over and over just not to us.
How many times has the world ended? With every banished kupu turned to word, every stolen

acre turned to profit, every poisoned river mapped and turned being to object.

 

 

*

Docken & iron

 

go straight to the roots, they hold all the power

they’ve grown down deep; dig in deeper

tear them from the earth

forget that they’re manuhiri too

hack at them until you have only slivers left

let them stand in for your own whakamā

soak them for days, boil them for hours

add iron pulled from slick dark bog mud

 

you’re aiming for the deepest black, a dark dyed hue,
but every time nothing will come out

but grey, grey, grey

 

Have you ever stood on a prickle patch in midsummer, caught
halfway between burning hot asphalt and burning hot sand? You know, like, a full sole-down
flat-foot fall into the grass so that all the tiny thorns dig in why are there always so many and grab

your skin? And you have to do that awkward swearing fuck-shit-fuck hop to remove them.
Did you blame the plant for its sting, or your foot for falling there?

It’s hard to grow a different skin, one that doesn’t catch the spikes and spines so easily. It stays

so new and tender for so long. Better to look before stepping better not to step at all instead.

Stumbling on the reo feels like a midsummer prickle-fall but the sea is right there waiting
at the edges of the grass.

 

 

In Braiding Sweetgrass, Potawatomi botanist Robin Wall Kimmerer recounts time as the sea itself, “its tides that appear and disappear, the fog that rises to become rain in a different river.” She reminds us that “all things that were will come again.” Are we all just trying to return to the sea? The sea that is time, the sea that is itself and only itself, the sea that holds the memory of our scattered tongues on the swell and pull of every wave

 

like how my name comes from the Hebrew ארי for lion, or gatherer of food, and found me by way of a sprite in a Shakespeare play about a colonised island
     and yet when I learned more of my whakapapa recently I saw the fragments of my name stretch
    back and back in time, Te Ari, Te Ari, Te Ari, to be clear, visible, evident, the eleventh night of the

                                                                 moon, a name I never knew had been passed on to me.

 

These things happen even when we aren’t looking the sea is right there waiting
at the edges of what we know.

 

*

 

yarrow

 

Over the first lockdown I read everything I could find about plant charms for safe travel, because

we suddenly couldn’t move at all. I read about yarrow and all the names and stories that unravel

from it

to journey safely: find the flowers of the athair thalún

growing amongst the seamróg / pull off ten leaves and

throw one away / put the nine others in a white cotton

cloth and tie with a string around your neck / do not pass

an elder tree / take the flowers and simmer them / half

into a sunshine yellow / half into a healing tea

          drink deep

 

I wish I’d known these stories sooner. Wish I had been held by a plants’ safekeeping embrace

when I began finding my way back to the homes of my tūpuna. When I first travelled to Scotland

it felt like coming home, but my bones still ached for Taranaki, for Tāmaki, for here. And here,

that distance can still feel insurmountable, even when the rāhui has lifted and we can move

again. There are many other kinds of distance, voids, and absences, and so few of them can be

crossed on foot.


(over lockdown I read everything I could find but nowhere

 

could I find anything about

        

what holds you

 

when that long journey is a return home

 


or when that journey takes place over no

 

physical                                      distance

 

at all)

 

Over the second lockdown, I returned to yarrow. I read how Achilles used a bitter pain-killing

herb to treat the battle-wounded. How traces of the plant were found between the teeth of a

50,000 year old skull in Spain. How as bloodwort it helps blood to move through the body. How it

slows a too-fast heartbeat. How cut into stalks or held against the eye, placed beneath your

pillow or your tongue, it can divine futures.

 

In one future we have woken Rūaumoko and the air is hung

heavy with ash and haze, we were warned not to rest in the shadow of the
maunga, our tūpuna are not ours to own but we did not listen – and so the

maunga have wrenched themselves from their resting places again to settle

old scores and we are all caught between viscous molten lava

                                            and andesite 

In one future we have coated all Papatūānuku in a thick

crust of grey-black concrete and all our memory of green is passed down

through whispered stories, all is not lost if we are willing to look beneath the

surface but instead we keep building out and up (we know Rangi and Papa

are longing to be closer but not like this, not held

at the points of skyscrapers)

                               In one future Tāne-Mahuta walks
the ngahere which stretches once again from coast to coast, and we are gone

but the world is not silent, not silent at all with the calls of birds and slow slide

of lizards across stone and windsong and rainhum and the rushing
                                                                                   and roaring of the
                                                                                                  tide

In one future we remembered to look back, and to listen,
and things are good, and things are whole, and things are tika,
   but that future flickers and is hard to see clearly through the

dream-haze

 

*

Uredo rangelii & Phytophthora agathidicida

 

It was only a few months ago that we woke to an orange-glow world, the air all smoke-haze from fires across the sea. It feels like years. It feels like we have forgotten.

We forgot we were in a drought, here, too, distracted by other things, then caught in a pandemic.

Now a virus creeps at the edges and water leaks from broken pipes. But that’s how we got here,

nē? Forgetting? Or remembering us first, and the whenua and wai last. Remembering only when

the water can no longer quench us

and the earth can no longer feed us

 

even falling back into lockdown, we still forget.

 

When I see headlines telling us that

 

- diesel slicks form in Tauranga Marina, and

- untreated dairy wastewater was discharged into a tributary of the Wairau River; and the

Waihou, and the Waiotapu, and

- “Watercare” is still pulling, pulling water from the Waikato awa, and

- the Environment Court has dismissed iwi appeals against the expansion of water bottling

plants, and

- myrtle rust and kauri dieback are spreading further through the ngahere, moved by the

wind, by our feet and our machines

 

 

 

I think back to the dream-futures

 

 

and try not to wonder which one will win

 

*

 

Angiangi/Feasag a Ghobhair

 

lichens are born from reciprocity

 

(stumble across this knowledge, learn in awe that

lichens are not plants, learn how they are not one

individual but two symbiotic beings, algae and fungi

entwined together, how their relationship could have

been a parasitic imbalance of power with one

draining the life from the other but instead they

learned to give, how each provides what the other

cannot create alone)

 

they are the ancient ones, they built the foundation for us

all to grow upon.

 

In the Anishinaabe Windigo narratives evoked in Braiding Sweetgrass, we are shown the opposite of reciprocity. Kimmerer tells us that “Windigos are not born, they are made. The Windigo is a human being who has become a cannibal monster […] Born of our fears and our failings, Windigo is the name for that within us which cares more for its own survival than for anything else.” Waubgeshig Rice’s Moon of the Crusted Snow digs the story deeper, warns us in subtle undercurrents that hum the horrors of how greed and weakness turn us monstrous, parasitic. Parasitic like broken promises, parasitic like whenua raupatu, parasitic like the definition of colonisation full stop –

 

–  and the threads of my whakapapa catch in a knot again, all tūpuna whose actions

dispossessed all other tūpuna, here, and across the sea that is the sea itself, and across the sea

that is time.
But then I look deeper, past the whakamā
remember my Pākehā grandfather, raised in the care of Te Puea Herangi, who gave me my first

kupu i te reo Māori – kei te pehea koe? How’s your puku? Horoi ō ringaringa!
remember Nana’s lacemaking, European threads in Māori hands, how I was recently taught

“that’s tūpuna teaching us to weave in any way we can”
and I think again, instead, of my whakapapa as lichen, slow-growing relationship, foundational

 

 

*
 

Harakeke

 

We meet on the marae ātea in the hot November sun, with our knives and our mussel shells and our nervous eagerness to learn. It’s a few months before the rāhui, and the sun still feels new, and we don’t yet know that this wānanga is a language of closeness we will have to re-learn in time. So we stand together, together as Whaea leads us in the karakia

 

to Papatūānuku, to Ranginui, to all tūpuna,

give thanks for their gifts

ngā taonga whakarere iho

 

We make our way together, together through the pā harakeke as Whaea shows us how to recognise the best plants for raranga; the black stripe edge that will give good muka; the tangled weeds strangling the plant that we need to remove. We must give back as much as we take, and we must take only what we need

 

never take the mother or father or child of the plant

trim the edges of the blade and cut away the keel

return the remains to the whenua

 

Today is for muka; today is for learning to pull smooth the silky white threads to make the whenu for our future kākahu. The whatu comes later, the twining and shaping. First comes the plant, and the cut, and the mussel shell scrape and slide together, together, the learning

 

make a small slice in the flesh of the leaf

strip back the skin until the fibre is laid bare

take care of this plant body

as if it were your own body
miro the muka against your own skin

steep the remnants in fire and river water

and they will give you the first soft light of the rising sun

I’ve been untangling the aho of my whakapapa. Finding resonances across lines that seemed otherwise in conflict, irreconcilable. Learning to whatu, with muka, with words, with stories, with whakapapa, with everything our tūpuna have given us.

To whatu, pairs of aho threads are twined around the whenu, a constant exchange of fibres that weave together into a strong but supple cloth.
Whenu, like whenua; and aho, like the threads that connect us to all tūpuna before us and still to come.

 

When we whatu, we are essentially weaving ourselves into place.

 

 

 

 

 

references:

Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants (Minneapolis: Milkweed Editions, 2013)

 

Emily Parr, tending to the roots (2020). Film. 8m 31s. HD video, copper tub from the laundry of her mother’s childhood home, ferns that grow in the lands she descends from.

 

Waubgeshig Rice, Moon of the Crusted Snow (Toronto: ECW Press, 2018)

Written by Arielle Walker | Mentored by essa may ranapiri

© 2019 by Tupuranga

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