Tūrangawaewae
Siobhan Tumai
i missed out on boil up & fry bread as a kid.
my mother didn’t like the taste
so every hour i take pictures of my own face
check the photo of my grandmother for proof
- am i my tūpuna’s wildest dreams?
different angles give different results:
sometimes i look like a coloniser
like, yesterday i made a pipe with a kombucha can
smoked half a nug through split pink aluminium
i coughed on the last toke, ran ash over my wrist
& remembered how much my dad’s funeral cost
e hine, taupiri te maunga
repeat it every hour
one day i’ll sink
back to the whenua we're from
like i wish my placenta had done
instead, it burned in a concrete coffin
in an institution that continues to
burn me
so tonight i’ll jump in the ocean
cleanse off the year
i want the back of my throat
to taste of tangaroa & plastic
as my tongue curves around hine raumati's
thighs, later and later she comes
a threesome, we hongi
to ward off the coloniser condition
fuck you, don’t tell me to diet
when we're just struggling to survive