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holding onto Tamawahine

essa may ranapiri

                        i cradle u and
         my embrace is a tremble        
 coz i dont know what it means
                               to have lost u once
       ur own weight carries itself into
  this crook        i have assembled
      from     desperate scramblings    my atua found
in piecemeal bytes           i hold u   
thumb tucked inside of cord           
                                     cord wrapped around wrist
         a weight               where u have been               o


             there are some things           that you never
                          want to see break
  scattered across a dining room floor
             three sections flat into linoleum
                                   the weave undoing
                  as ploughshare break as ploughshare shatter
as they take all the men they can
                          to rooms with no exits
the women left behind to do the work
          from a pile of fragments u persist
                                     like how we persist
                         a name more permanent than stone


    is it that i hold     onto a glimmer  of myself        
                moving like      water between      two unbudging
                             the light moving thru
                         u  like white veins          i feel massively
                            at my ribs                   when i place u                        
                                 lower u      into
                                        the black cloth
                                   that wrapped u
                                                       for safety
                                    i feel u leave     along
                                     of my edges 
                                                   to know u
                                  have                      cut me
                                  an              opening in
                                  which                  to see
                                      a place       i can stand

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